her facebook's as public as her vagina
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
