Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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