Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
