No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
