Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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