I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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