so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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