where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
