Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
