I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am available for nakedness
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