I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
