fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
