Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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