You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
