Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
