so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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