I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
