I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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