Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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