I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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