enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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