At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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