hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
