he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
