Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
