he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
