I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
