its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
