I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
