dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
