Jerry, you need to find god
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
