Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
