Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
