Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
jump out the window naked night went bad
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