I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
