I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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