I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
