I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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