I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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