big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
