dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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