Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
