its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
