During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
