Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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