booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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