There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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