i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
