I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
