Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
