Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it because I queefed?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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